Joe the Jawless [The Ruin]

Joe the Jawless [The Ruin]

May 02, 2020   #character, #joethejawless, #mmww, #theruin,

"Ok, lissen. Dis guy...er...well, 'e ain't a guy, 'zactly...but...er...dis...er...Joe...he...ah...he don't like fer ya to stare, 'kay? So's when 'e gets in here, jus' find somethin' else ta do with yar fraggin eyes, ok? We needs dis gig crazy-stoopid-like, ok?"

Rottin glared at me like I'd done something wrong and scratched his stump irritably. I'd noticed that he did that when he was really nervous about something. I thought about nodding dumbly, because, well, I'm dumb, and because I've learned that when folks think you've done something wrong, acting dumb can help. I'm not sure why, 'cause like I said, I'm --

"ARE YA EVEN LISSEN'N TO MEE?" Rottin grabbed my All Fork from off the table and wacked me over the head with it.

I nodded dumbly this time, remembering to do more than just think about doing it. "Yyyssss", I replied, salting my empty mug of gutrot and after tapping it with the All Fork, I took a large chomp. "But whyssss'ee not like folksss ssstartin at'im?"

Rottin snarled at me, but answered. "Somes wizard ripped 'is face off and he's not likin' for sods or bods to look at'it. Pretty gruesomes, I sez."

I raised my eyebrows. "A wizrd?"

Rottin took a sip of his vial of poison (it made me shiver) and glanced over his shoulder. "Ya. Some sez it was the Last Druid wot did it."

I raised my eyebrows even more and felt my hat move. "The Lst Drud? I don'no if's I wants to cross 'im."

Rottin wacked me across the mouth with his good claw. "None'o that cribble, ya hears? We need dis gig and Joe the Jawless ain't no lugrug! He's a top-shelf basher-hasher, yas hear?"

A deep, growling voice behind us rolled down like a thundercloud.

"Why, thank you..."

I looked up, ya know, 'cause I'm dumb.

###

Author's Note: Looks like jouste was happy with what I did with the Last Druid post. So, I'm gonna give it another shot and develop the world of The Ruin a bit more. :) I hope he likes it.

Joe the Jawless, Rottin the Vial-blade, and Shiny the Swordivore are all created by jouste. All text above Copyright © 2020 by Brannon Hollingsworth.

Continue Reading

The Last Druid: [The Ruin]

The Last Druid: [The Ruin]

April 30, 2020   #character, #gertrude, #mmww, #thelastdruid, #theruin,

The fraggin' idiots don't understand nothin'. For Perd's sake, they call me a druid! Any bod worth's juices would know 'at a'druid could grow a plant...not use one as'a well. Gah! Fraggin' idiots. Well, whaddya s'pect. Since th' stars fell and the whole pecked planet went always nuts...lestwiles that's how I hears it told...bod's've gone to pot. Most bod's're beasts now, really, slaverin', flesh-hungry, mindless retches that'll rip a leg off just as quickly as give a grin.

That's why me an' Gertrude here are together. Gertrude's special...lestwiles to me. S'far as I can tell, she's th' last livin' plant in the Ruin and she's MINE. If'n ya don't believe me, just try'an'takes her. That's what this here Flea is for. Oh, I know. It don't look like much'a'tall, but just 'cause a gun's small  don't mean it ain't got a helluva kick, and Flea, well, let's just say that once a bod's bit by this lil monster, well, they wont's be kickin' 'round too much anymore.

So, yea, Gertude and me are what some might call ka'nek'ted. Truths be told, if it weren't fer her, I'd be a gonner. But that's'a story for 'nother day. Maybe with a few more pulls of that gutgrog, I'd says more. Gertrude saved me and continues to give me her life force...that's what keep's me suckin' air good and what powers my knack, ya see. But it's a high-wire act...if'n I pulls too much of her life, then the well goes dry. If the well goes dry, well, then we're both goners.

But...why'dya care 'bout all this stuffs anyways? And, what's in th' Ruin's'at needle fer.............

###

Author's Note: This one is completely unauthorized and unofficial. I've been following the artist, jouste, for quite some time now and I greatly admire his work, his artistic range, and his amazing rate of production. Definitely the kind of artist that I would love to work or collaborate with someday. Who knows? Regardless, his amazing pieces inspire me and I thought I would use one, Last Druid, as inspiration for today's post. I pray jouste is not offended. :)

Last Druid created by jouste.

All text above Copyright © 2020 Brannon Hollingsworth.

Continue Reading