Joe the Jawless [The Ruin]
"Ok, lissen. Dis guy...er...well, 'e ain't a guy, 'zactly...but...er...dis...er...Joe...he...ah...he don't like fer ya to stare, 'kay? So's when 'e gets in here, jus' find somethin' else ta do with yar fraggin eyes, ok? We needs dis gig crazy-stoopid-like, ok?"
Rottin glared at me like I'd done something wrong and scratched his stump irritably. I'd noticed that he did that when he was really nervous about something. I thought about nodding dumbly, because, well, I'm dumb, and because I've learned that when folks think you've done something wrong, acting dumb can help. I'm not sure why, 'cause like I said, I'm --
"ARE YA EVEN LISSEN'N TO MEE?" Rottin grabbed my All Fork from off the table and wacked me over the head with it.
I nodded dumbly this time, remembering to do more than just think about doing it. "Yyyssss", I replied, salting my empty mug of gutrot and after tapping it with the All Fork, I took a large chomp. "But whyssss'ee not like folksss ssstartin at'im?"
Rottin snarled at me, but answered. "Somes wizard ripped 'is face off and he's not likin' for sods or bods to look at'it. Pretty gruesomes, I sez."
I raised my eyebrows. "A wizrd?"
Rottin took a sip of his vial of poison (it made me shiver) and glanced over his shoulder. "Ya. Some sez it was the Last Druid wot did it."
I raised my eyebrows even more and felt my hat move. "The Lst Drud? I don'no if's I wants to cross 'im."
Rottin wacked me across the mouth with his good claw. "None'o that cribble, ya hears? We need dis gig and Joe the Jawless ain't no lugrug! He's a top-shelf basher-hasher, yas hear?"
A deep, growling voice behind us rolled down like a thundercloud.
"Why, thank you..."
I looked up, ya know, 'cause I'm dumb.
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Author's Note: Looks like jouste was happy with what I did with the Last Druid post. So, I'm gonna give it another shot and develop the world of The Ruin a bit more. :) I hope he likes it.
Joe the Jawless, Rottin the Vial-blade, and Shiny the Swordivore are all created by jouste. All text above Copyright © 2020 by Brannon Hollingsworth.